Month: February 2020

I have been thinking about having my own live sex cam website lately and that’s the reason why I spent my entire yesterday reading imlive reviews.

But today, I got enough time to write 2 sex parody songs for your entertainment. Here is ‘Riding on a Dildo’, a parody to ‘The Metro’ by American Band – Berlin:-

I am alone

Sitting with a finger in my ass

My Vaginal Walls

Semen flows through my ass

I am no Paris Hilton

I am not even London Reigns

And you were laying there

Swimming through your own squirt.

I remember searching for the perfect fuck

I was hoping you might get a penile implant

I remember a soldier wanking next to me

Riding on a dildo.

You tore my pussy tight

Smiling as you put inside your hand

So drained

We spoke of fucking time in the state of trance

Minutes passed with shallow words

Years have passed and still the hurt

I can curse you now

Smiling as you cross my way

I remember my first wrinkle…..

‘Riding on a Dildo’ by The No1Bitch, a parody to ‘The Metro’ by Berlin

Here is ‘Fuck Me Up’, a parody to ‘Shake It Up’ by Elizabeth Daily:-

“Ever since the day I fucked you

I knew that your dick is the best for me

You know you had me shaking all over

You stir me up now, can’t you see?

Fuck me up tonight

Fuck me up all night

Tell me that I am a little bitch

Tell me that you’ll stay up all night.

Now I am gonna ride you one more time

I’ve got to ride you everyday

How could I live without your cock?

Don’t you see, it’s wet already.”

‘Fuck Me Up’ by the No1Bitch, a parody to ‘Shake It Up’ by Elizabeth Daily

I have a Japanese logo designer friend from the Kyoto city, who is a sex maniac like myself. This friend of mine claims that recalling the smell of his wife’s pussy while designing a logo gives him the intuition of what colors on the logo and overall what sort of a logo would his client prefer.

The wife of this Japanese logo designer friend of mine is a fashion designer, who seems to have more opinions on different sex positions than she does on the entire field of fashion designing. She likes to ride him in the rare positions just like those girls do in the JAVFL movies.

As much as she is active on the fashion communities, she is active on adult video (アダルトビデオ) communities as well, where she learns how to satisfy her husband sexually in the best ways possible.

She claims to have watched the interviews of more erotic videos (エロ動画) stars than those of the fashion designers and models.

She recently started a sex podcast, both to help the men and the women, and also for the better exposure of her brand and it has been doing pretty well in all of Japan. She has been improving her command in the English language to make her podcast and fashion brand reach to the English speaking audience around the world.

She always keeps track of the number of times she had anal sex than she keeps track or analysis of her business of fashion designing as a whole.

She wears a biker jacket in the winters whenever she feels extremely horny and wants it so bad and a grandfather cardigan when she is on her periods.

I recently met an old Japanese friend of mine, who works for the New Japan Pro-Wrestling. He told me that the wrestlers and many other staff members belonging to the New Japan Wrestling spend more time on whore-mongering than they do practicing their profession. I said to him that I would have done the same. Looking at those beautiful chicks in some of the Best Asian Porn, I wonder how do the Asian guys resist those stunning Asian ladies on the street. That’s the reason why I never visited Japan yet, because I don’t want to spend rest of my life in the prison. I will only go to Japan after making a reservation with a couple of hot Japanese escorts for the time while I will be there. And then only I will depart from my city to Japan. But then, I will be missing the streets, the sights, everything else. I would rather prefer hiring some busty Asian masseuse here in my city.

Anyways, I have been listening to the Duran Duran a lot lately to refresh my memories of the 1980s, when I was always horny but didn’t know how to make her go crazy for you, like I do now.

I didn’t know that the band Duran Duran is still active. After listening to a couple of their current songs, which I found so meh, I decided to take a little revenge on the Duran Duran and here I present to you a sex parody of their 2015 song – ‘Pressure Off’:-

“Netherlands is another country

At present I am in Vegas

In the future, I am moving to Thailand

Are we fucking high-class?

Fleshlight is for you, I fuck your wives in the arse

You know it well, And you also know that you are a retard

Some hot chicks are fapping to me

And those ugly grandmas are fapping to you, you, you, you.

Real dicks and pussies, feel it in the air

Oh yeah it’s time to take the pressure off

Real dicks and pussies, don’t use your hands or fingers

It’s time to take the pressure off with a ginger.

We’re fucking with a butter-face

Her asshole is so tight

And it’s nobody’s business

When there’s too much to hide.

Fleshlight is for you, I am sucking her boobs

There’s no way for you

Some hot chicks are fapping to me

And those ugly grandmas are fapping to you, you, you, you.

I respect and love both the Russian Chess Grand Masters and the Russian Cam Models. Although I play better chess than as much as 25% of the Russian Grand Masters myself and my wife has had a better success than most Russian Cam Models ever will.

I traveled to Pakistan last year, where I enjoyed tons of natural hot busty beauties in the Multan region. I enjoyed some pregnant women as well and let me tell you, half of those Multani beauties were good enough to star in a mainstream Pregnant Porn movie.

I came across a tribe in Pakistan, leaders of which told me that they regularly eat a peculiar mixture of gold, silver and bronze, which is good enough to make a man eternally young, if eaten for long. They said to me that a couple of members of their tribe became immortal with it, but they got accidentally killed in a terrorist attack. I didn’t believe a word that came out of their mouth, they looked like scammers to me, most of them looked unhealthy and were the opposite of the definition of the virility.

I have been making my wife cry and beg for it each time she gets wet, I know for certain that she is going to post otherwise here, but you know that women will be women.

As I have been getting older, I spend as much as half of the day cherishing the memories of the past, and I seem to have this love-hate relationship with this habit of mine.

My wife regularly fucks students belonging to different races, universities, courses, sizes, etc, and she claims that the marketing students have bigger and stiffer dicks than the engineering students in general, and perhaps that’s the reason why she is often found hanging out at the cafes near business and marketing universities. She also says that because the women can sense a big and stiff dick, more ladies than ever before are joining business & marketing schools than ever before.

While I ran my own gigolo agency, one of the major things that I observed was that the football freaks and professional players are a lot more likely to become cucks compared to an average man, because of the injuries that they receive regularly on their testicles, time and time again. That huge ball really destroys their tiny balls. The case is very much similar for the rugby players as well.

I know a state-level football player, who used to be cucked at least four times a week, mostly the guys who screwed his wife in front of himself, were the gigolos working at my agency. I provided all my gigolos vigrx plus for free, and that investment gave me at least 30 times return on my investment.

I decided to provide my gigolos free vigrx plus, after reading a vigrx plus review, which was posted by one of my neighbors. I didn’t know earlier that her husband used to have a tiny limp dick until I read that review. First, I gave those vigrx plus pills to my own husband Abid as an experiment and once they worked better than expected, I started giving those to my guys.

Some of my male gigolos have tons of followers on the social media, most of them love to flaunt their luxurious lifestyle there, which they earned fucking the wives, daughters, moms, sisters and grandmas of other men.

When I started in the gigolo business, I befriended this 80 year old male gigolo and his wife. He is the only gigolo in his wife’s gigolo agency, who happens to be 15 years younger than himself. She is also pretty hot and can be a perfect escort even now. I suggested to her to try her hand (and pussy) in the porn industry and affirmed to her that she could give Sally D’Angelo, a run for her money, she told me that she wasn’t interested.

I had no idea that Sally D’Angelo also worked for a Nuru Massage Service in Delhi back when she was younger. She has been using her experience greatly in her videos.

Abid believes that the day is not far away when we will see 90+ grannies featured in both amateur and mainstream swinger porn movies on a regular. There are several superhot 60+ amateur GILFs already featured on justswingerporn.com, but myself and Abid have been waiting for even older GILFs to get fucked like the bitches they are, all the time, everywhere.

Did I ever tell you that I once tried yoga to kill my sex drive? Yes, I once used to be a little naive bitch, who thought that sex is the ‘Original Sin’ and its only for the procreation. Practicing yoga to kill my sex drive only proved to me that the whole Yoga business is an useless waste of time, which cannot even reduce the sex drive of a woman, let alone improve it.

I can perform sex easily in over 100 positions. I also escorted and even ran a gigolo agency in the past. While escorting and running my gigolo agency, I came to the conclusion that the rich and famous men have 4 times as much sex on the average compared to their middle-income counterparts and perhaps that is the secret behind their extraordinary success, happiness and pleasurable life which is always full of vibes, joy and a lot more.

I took the virginity of several men in their early 20s while I was an escort and I observed that how hard it is for some of the men to come who enjoy a real-life pussy for the first time, while some men cum as soon as they get inside the pussy. Many believe that it is related to the porn and masturbation addiction, but believe you me, the ones who don’t watch any porn or never masturbated, are the ones that face the most problems in bed.

There was this dude whom Abid put in charge of my pussy while he was away on a business trip to Mexico, who would fuck me like they do their neighbors’ wives in those XXX Videos.

He was an athlete and the medals were there everywhere in house, just like the furniture.

He lived in India for 5 years and didn’t have many good things to say about the prehistoric and so-called legendary nation of India.

He always told me that the Indians are great at bribing and extremely shrewd while receiving the bribes. He always said that the Indians really know how to hide their corruption, at least 100 times better than their Pakistani counterparts.

He always challenged the claims of the Indian Subcontinent about their spectacular prehistoric achievements. He always claimed that most of those achievements were nothing but lies. They never took place in the nation called India.

He had tons of his money invested in the Canadian Real Estate. He suggested me to invest some of my money in the Canadian Real Estate as well, but I didn’t like the idea. He always said that investing in the Canadian Real Estate is one of the best things that one can do in the late 2010s and early 2020s. But I would rather invest my hard-earned money in Bitcoins and other Cryptocurrencies.

He sounded like a troll when he said that the people with the Zodiac sign – Cancer were more likely to catch cancer. And he really believed it, believe it or not.

One of my very good friends is a big cock gay dude who is always horny. he gets an erection each time he sees a male to male wire.

This friend of mine claims that he has never had a woman in his life. I tried to be his first woman several times, but each time it was a failed attempt. Although I have kissed him on the lips several times and once I very cunningly put my mouth on his cock, believing that he will get excited and fuck me later on, but he ran away angrily and upset. Since then, I haven’t made another attempt on taking his female virginity.

He loves watching porn and is often found watching straight porn movies, because he likes straight guys more. 2 of his most favorite male pornstars are Johnny Castle and J-Mac. He is a flexible dude, who can suck his own dick, and he often sucks his own dick watching his favorite straight or gay porn and it is nothing less than a miracle that he doesn’t even find it hard to watch the porn while sucking his own dick, he has got this great focus, which gives Bill Goldberg a run for his money.

This friend of mine claims that the Nature Boy Ric Flair is a bisexual dude. He adds that the reason that none of Ric’s marriages could survive is that he got caught sucking a guy’s cock by each of his wives.

He wishes all the time if they could measure sexual prowess in terms of horsepower. I am certain that Abid’s would have been at least half of what it once used to be. I still love him though.

I remember talking to three different Chaturbate cam models on a live sex cam site who all looked very much alike and I thought that they were three great friends until they told me that they are triplets. I also remember talking to a group of five girls on the same website that all performed together on the same website as well, these five friends told me that they were great friends since the school days.

There aren’t as many English cam models as there are Germans, which is a pity but Britain has got some of the best Arab and Indian cam models.

Let me tell you something which I believe you don’t know already – a pile of cash isn’t enough for a straight cam model who never performs all alone, she needs a huge dick as well.

One cam model whom I used to talk to regularly on the same German cam website told me that she had been wearing floral bikinis only since she once made trip to Hawaii.

One cam model had her house designed like a cemetery and she wore nothing but Halloween costumes. She stayed butt naked most of the times though. The warmth of dildos and/or their partners’ cocks keep these butt naked cam models happy, healthy and warm in the winters.

There was a time when only factory or McDonald workers would do live sex cam shows, but now they include lawyers, doctors and teachers as well and they are all sexy and naughty as hell.

One of my best friends claims to have seen one female politician who never won an election performing on live sex cam with a younger man. I won’t disclose the name of either here.

I have a very good friend who is a yoga and aerobics teacher by profession. He provides classes for 2 hours a day, he also keeps uploading videos on the Youtube and his own website. This friend of mine also used to be an event organizer in the past and each and every business that he ever entered, he entered it with the intention of getting women, and he has been pretty successful at it, almost in each strong attempt.

He loves to travel to Cuba. He loves certain streets of Cuba and perhaps you would be surprised to learn that almost nobody is there out on those streets most of the times, but the sound of loud moans is almost everywhere.

This friend of mine recently enjoyed the escort services of the infamous MILF Pornstar – Dana Vespoli, and he ended up paying US$2500 for just one fuck. He decided to hire her because he was tired of the same old White pussies and he was looking for some Asian pussy this time. Jessica Bangkok wasn’t in the town and he couldn’t find anyone else who he believed was worthy of his precious semen, so he ended up with fucking Dana Vespoli, whose videos are some of the most watched on AsianSexDiary.

He often tells all his friends that he always stays updated with the list of pornstars who also provide escort services. He believes that pornstars make the best escorts, just make sure that they don’t suffer with AIDS or Syphilis.

He has over 50 bank accounts and uses only those to pay his Pornstar escort in advance. He claims that all the Pornstar escorts ask for the payment in advance through their PayPal or Bank Account, it is nothing like Tonight’s Girlfriend in reality.

He claims that one of the most infamous MILF pornstars of all times and perhaps the most infamous MILF pornstar currently – Alexis Fawx, lies on her Twitter and other social media accounts that she doesn’t escort. He claims that he availed her escort services twice and paid her $5000 each time per fuck. He claims that the second time, she was so good, that he sent gold earrings to her address as a tip afterwards.

A good friend of mine is a full-time conspiracy theorist and Jav Streaming lover, who claims that the Coronavirus was spread in the entire Republic of China through air by Kim Jong-un and his men, on the orders of American President Donald Trump and the current American CIA Chief – Gina Cheri Haspel.

He claims that being one of the first to send the aids to the Republic of China is a drama by Kim Jong-Un, scripted by none other than the previous American CIA Chief – David S.Cohen, who also happens to be one of the highest paid and most popular attorneys of the world.

This friend of mine claims that the American President Donald Trump has been eyeing Kim Jong-Un’s wife – Ri Sol-ju and his sister – Kim Yo-jong for a long while now. And he has been looking for a chance to get one or both of those by hook or by crook. He adds that the American President Donald Trump has already devised the plan to divorce his current wife – Melania Knavs and bring home one or both of Kim Jong-Un’s dearest women.

This friend of mine also claims that the American President Donald Trump’s hatred against the nation of Iran and its people has its roots back in his college days. He claims that Donald Trump asked a couple of Persian girls out while he was in college, only to get mocked by each of them.

Once in the late 1980s, out of his weakness for the Iranian women, Donald Trump asked the CNN Television Host – Christiane Amanpour out, but she rejected the proposal as well, laughing at him in a ridiculous way. And that was the last time when the current American President – Donald Trump asked an Iranian woman out and that’s the biggest reason why Donald Trump hates CNN so much as well.